the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I love having hate sex.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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