Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
