So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm really busy with my period
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