peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
