It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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