dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
