Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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