so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
