im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
