I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Randomize
