like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
