you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
