playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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