I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
