I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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