Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
