Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
