Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
