I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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