did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
