My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
COCAINE IS GR8
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
