My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well I just put wine in my tea
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
