it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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