And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
