Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
