I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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