And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I smell stomach acid.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
