no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish I only lived at night.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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