so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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