I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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