Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
