i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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