I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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