you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
