I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i now understand why vodka
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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