we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
