Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
