the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Life is so much better after having sex.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
