thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
