then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
