it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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