I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
