Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
