woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
