Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

She's JV to your varsity

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me

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(251): View more from Alabama

Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?

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(949): View more from California

you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.

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(251): View more from Alabama

you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account

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(630): View more from Illinois

we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same

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(901): View more from Tennessee

There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.

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(360): View more from Washington

The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...

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(312): View more from Illinois

i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too

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