thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
