Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
