I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
