is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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