I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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